


Take Me Home

by BlueEyedWolf33



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Admissions of Love, Death, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, M/M, Pain, Sacrifice, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 16:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8674069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueEyedWolf33/pseuds/BlueEyedWolf33
Summary: Based on this prompt from Thirst Order Confessions.
You couldn't just let him die. You love him too much to do so.





	

Gritting your teeth, you willed your arm to raise your saber above your head one final time. Using what remained of your strength, you brought your weapon down, effectively killing the soldier beneath you, the blaster once held in his hand clattering to the snowy ground.

A sound that was a mixture of a heaving sigh and a groan of pain escaped your lips as you once again held your weapon limply in one hand while the other immediately shot to the wound on your side which pulsed painfully with your killing strike. Your eyes scanned the surrounding ruins of the battlefield, finding absolute relief that it appeared as though you had taken care of the last of the Resistance fighters.

Finally, you could rest.

You clicked your saber off and watched the purple blade retreat back into the hilt, your gloved hand holding the cylinder tightly. Pure relief coursed through you as you stood there amongst the debris, the air heavy with ash and smoke. Your eyes lifted up towards the sky and watched as the sun fought hard to break through the thick clouds that had accumulated during the battle.

Tearing your eyes away from the star, you turned back to gaze back at the other side of the battlefield, a prickling at the back of your mind alerting you of your Master. Your heavy cloak and jacket twisted in the cold breeze, the smell of rotting blood in the air pungent in your nostrils.

Wincing, you pulled your hand away from the wound and looked at the scarlet that tinged your fingertips. You breathed out in relief.

Not fatal.

Calling the Force to you as you pressed your hand to your side once more, your skin and the wound prickling beneath your palm as you began to arduous task of healing yourself.

You trudged along the battlefield, mindful of the bodies below as you picked your way along, your boots suddenly so heavy on your feet.

There was numerous Resistance fighters smattered about, none of their uniforms, each one a single, haunting individual. The stormtroopers were also amassed on the muddy, snow covered ground as well, their facelessness offering you no comfort either.

Attacking your saber back to your belt, you ran a hand back through your sweaty hair; your job was done and now it was time for you to finally breathe.

You could see the low glow of his saber in the gloom, the hateful blade spitting and crackling as he swung it expertly through the air, across the chest of one of his attackers before he was spearing another.

Both men fell simultaneously at his feet, their life-forces fading from their bodies. And it was silent for a moment.

“Lord Ren,” you tried still walking towards him. His shoulders heaved as he breathed heavily, his actions jerky and wild as he fought to retain his humanity. He didn’t look back at you and you frowned softly, “Kylo?”

The helmet upon his head snapped sharply in your direction and the man froze for a moment. You could feel the fuzzy haze of his bloodlust clouding his mind but it began to fade when he saw you, his shoulders straightening from their hunched, predatory position.

He tilted his head to the side fractionally, his visor glistening in the low light. You could see that there was blood splattered across it. He deactivated his saber and for a moment, the battlefield was silent.

“Y/N…” He took a step forward and you followed his lead until you were only feet away from him.

He reached out to you and you clasped forearms with each other but Kylo attached his saber back to his hip so that he could cup the back of your head, resting his helmet against your brow.

You could almost feel his gaze on you from behind the empty visor, could tell by the way she shifted ever so slightly. “You’re hurt.”

“It’s nothing. Superficial. I’ll be fine,” you reassured him, letting out a soft laugh, your breath fogging against the metal on his snout.

You could hear him sigh, the sound crackling through the vocoder. His hand lightly stroked at your hair, “Let’s go home.” He released you and you drew back, his hand sliding down to rest on your lower back. You only got a few steps before even that touch was retreating.

For awhile the two of you just walked through the carnage, content with the silence between you. Your eyes raked along the faces of the dead, those on either sides of the battle. And you pitied them.

“How many knights did we lose?” You ask him, not as in tune with the Force as the man beside you.

For a moment, he raised his head as if his eyes were searching through the gloomy sky for the answer, “The other two we brought are dead. Cut down by the Skywalkers before they escaped.”

“Did you see them?”

“Only in the Force.”

You frowned softly as you picked your way along, this news disturbing. _When would the war end? How many more must die?_

“Master… I’m—” Your head jerked up suddenly when you felt it—the disturbance in the Force—and you drove your shoulder into Kylo’s back hard to get him out of the way, catching him entirely off guard as you reached for your saber.

You felt it cut through you then, all of it too late, the heat of it searing into your back.

He stumbled ahead a few steps but then turned on you, his anger apparent in the way he held himself, his shoulders hunched once more.

Sniper. The Force whispered to you, the deep burning in your back igniting your nerves. You felt dampness running down your coat, down the back of your pants.

For a moment, your breath was stolen away from you and you struggled to regain it, your eyes growing distant as you used all your energy to keep yourself up right.

“K… Kylo?” Came your soft voice, a choked whisper.

The cylinder of your saber hilt clattered to the ground and your hand absentmindedly pressed to your side, your older wound the least of your worries at the moment.

“Y/N?!” He yelled as you stumbled forward a step, still gasping for breath. “No! Y/N!”

You only got another step before you felt your legs give as you collapsed to the side. However, strong arms were able to wrap around you, his thighs bracing to hold up your added weight.

“S-Sniper,” you rasped out, your mouth suddenly feeling so dry.

You felt yourself being moved, your feet being dragged before Kylo was collapsing, taking you along with him. He settled on his rear, his back now pressed against a nearby boulder to use as cover.

He pulled you into his lap, his hands immediately ripping the helmet from his head, allowing his gorgeous, pale face to your tired eyes. Bringing his other hand to his mouth, he bit the end of one of his leather glad fingers and pulled the glove from his hand before tossing it away as if it was nothing. The next thing you registered was his large, warm palm cupping your cheek, his rough thumb brushing against your cheekbone.

“You’re going to be okay,” he told you, brushing his hand back through your hair before he was turning you slightly so he could see your back, his jostling causing pain to ripple from the wound. It felt bad… Close to something important.

Perhaps your spine?

“I’m-I’m going to fix this. You’ll be okay, I promise.” As he examined your back, you heard his breathing hitch, his bare hand pulling your now ripped coat to reveal the damage. He swore but was suddenly reaching for his comm and you heard him speaking frantically into the device, something about _Hux and… getting over here immediately…and hurt badly… and your name…_

There was a harsh wind that suddenly blew across the battlefield, no doubt down from the mountains above, the cold gust sweeping across the two of you. You couldn’t help but shiver slightly when the cold hit you, your limbs already trembling.

“I’m s-so cold, Master.” You managed to stutter out to steal his attention, both the cold from the winter winds and… something else beginning to creep into your muscles.

“Okay,” He bent over you, dismissing your wound, and pressed his lips to your brow, his voice showing how unsettled he was. “Everything is going to be okay,” He told you, his warm, brown eyes gazing intently into your own, unknowingly showing the fear he was feeling.

“Kylo, it’s-it’s no use. You can’t fix me. Not this time,” You told him and were suddenly so very amazed as you watched his own eyes glass over. A soft, barely audible but still shuddering sigh escaped his lips at your words, his bare fingers stroking at your cheek once more.

“ _Shut up,_ ” he growled though you knew his anger was directed more at himself. “I… I can do it. I-I have to try,” The knight stated, almost as if he were trying to convince himself more than you. “I must try to save you.” He gave your cheek another affectionate stroke with his thumb.

You laughed bitterly, tears welling up and already slipping down your cheeks, “I’m a lost cause.”

“I told you to be quiet,” his voice shook when he spoke but nonetheless, his arm scooped beneath you, his bare palm pressing against your wound. You whimpered in pain but were quiet for the most part, more hot tears sliding down your cheek.

“It-It won’t _work_ —”

“Hush,” his voice seemed to be losing more of its ferocity as you felt your back warm slightly, the tingling sensation returning. You watched his own eyes cloud up and when he blinked a few tears slid down his cheek. “Why did you do it, Y/N?” He swallowed thickly, his lips trembling ever so slightly. “You stupid, stupid idiot. Why did you push me out of the way?”

“Because you’re important in the galaxy,” you licked your lips but then coughed roughly, only to settle your cheek back against his chest once more. “Because you’re important to me. Because I didn’t want you to die.”

As he looked down at you, he breathed hard once to contain a sob, his jaw clenching before he buried his face into your hair, pulling you closer to his chest. His hand left your back to hold you, the Force dissipating around him.

For you were right.

“You stupid, fucking idiot,” his words held no malice and you didn’t know if he was talking about you or himself. “You’re not going to die. I won’t let you.”

Your own eyes slipped shut, more tears falling from beneath your lids as you grasped at his cowl, “Okay.”

“I—” He struggled so much to even get the one syllable out. His shoulders shook around you as he swallowed a sob. “You’re-You’re far too important. The knights need you. I… I need you here with me.” He clutched you tighter to him, his large arms constricting you closer but he pulled back to gaze at you, to show you his watery eyes. His vulnerability. “I-I need you, Y/N.” He murmured as you reached out and lightly cupped his cheek. His own hand raised to join your’s, his large, warm palm enveloping your hand entirely.

You just weakly nodded your head in response as you gazed up at him. Something was dulled in your normally sparkling irises, as if you were not entirely there with him on the mountainside.

And it terrified him to no end.

“I need you, too,” you reached up and stroked his hair. “Now, more than ever. Here… at the end.” You added, your eyes slipping closed as you rested your head on his broad chest. You nuzzled closer to your knight, finding that sleep was beckoning you suddenly.

A tiredness had filled your limbs, made you feel sleepy. A numbness was beginning to take over.

“Y/N?” You slowly drew back from where your head had been tucked beneath his chin, a questioning look in your irises. His hand raised to gently cup your cheek. He just stared at you with those brown eyes of his once again before he found it almost unbearable to look at you any longer what with the way your eyes were drooping so.

Dipping his head, he braced his forehead against your own and his eyes closed tightly, as if he were silently pleading with anyone who would listen to let you stay in this world with him.

“Please, I need you.” He brought your hand to his lips and he kissed your knuckles and your palm. “I…” He was struggling so hard once more and he grit his teeth sharply as his body jolted again. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he struggled to breath, to speak. “I… I have… I have loved you for so long. And never did _anything_ about it. And... here we are.” You felt his lips moving in your hair as he kissed the crown of your head. “ _Stars_ … I love you.” He whispered the words over and over again into your hair, a mantra he hoped would somehow heal you.

“I love you, too.” You breathed back and you allowed your own eyes to fall shut as you simply drank in his loving embrace. You lifted a hand and raked it back through his sweaty hair, still damp in the cold air.

He was suddenly pulling back, his hand cradling your chin. It didn’t surprise you when you felt his warm lips cover your own, both your cheeks wet with tears, and instead you relished in this contact, this unfortunate—first and final—kiss between the two of you.

After what felt like an eternity, Kylo drew back from you and the two of you gazed at each other again, matching with tear stained cheeks. You couldn’t help but let your eyes drink in every feature of his handsome face, permanently burning your master’s face into your mind.

Slowly tilting your head to the side, you simply lay back in his arms and offered him a final, soft smile as you closed your eyes and instead nuzzled closer to him again, feeling the weight of sleep tugging on you again. Kylo just shifted his grip on you and pulled you closer, knowing—sensing in the Force—that his time with you was coming to an end, your signature beginning to fade and blur with the rest of the galaxy.

“I’m-I’m so tired, Kylo.” You said quietly, settling finally against him, a content sigh escaping your nose as you burrowed your face deeper into the warm flesh of his neck.

“I know, Y/N.” A hard sob wracked through his body, finding that it was now near impossible to keep himself together as he pulled you impossibly close to his body. He craned his neck and placed a loving kiss into your hair, his face remaining there as the tears flowed silently down his cheeks, his nose breathing your scent in hard. His next words would be the hardest he would ever say and so he was quiet for a moment but even a millennia of steeling himself wouldn’t have been enough.

It would never be enough to let you go.

"You'll take me home, Kylo, won't you?" You asked him softly, your eyes growing heavier with each moment that passed. 

You felt the man nod his head sharply against you, a strangled sound catching in his throat as he struggled to contain himself. “You…" He breathed hard out through his mouth, his shoulder jerking, "You can go to sleep now… I’ll-I’ll be right here. Right here when... when you wake up.”

And with those words, you completely relaxed against him, a single tear of your own escaping from the corner of your eye as you finally accepted this warm and welcoming sleep, completely at ease in your master’s protective embrace. So warm. So protected. So happy.

You finally let go.

It was only after he had listened to your breathing cease that Fili finally allowed the hard and jostling sobs to wrack his entire body as he curled around you. For he had waited because he certainly did not wish to wake you from your sleep.

His yells of anguish filled the battlefield and somewhere in the back of his mind, he registered the sniper, the man who had killed you instead of him, and so easily snapped his neck.

When Hux came rushing down the ramp of the shuttle, he knew it was too late but beheld the awesome destruction that awaited him.

Everything within reasonable distance to the crumpled mass of Kylo Ren and his fallen knight in his arms was pushed back 30 yards, the ground beneath him cracked as he bowed over your body, his face hidden by the shroud of his dark hair.

When they returned to the Finalizer, he carried your limp and cold body up to the dais and carefully laid you down at the Supreme Leader’s feet. “What must I do to bring Y/N back?”

“What are you willing to do to bring back the one you love, Kylo Ren?”

His lips trembled and he could no longer hide behind his mask, the thing forgotten in the wake of your death, “ _Anything_.”

A crude smile twisted the man’s scarred lips.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry about all of this.
> 
> And also, I'm worried about Kylo's characterization in this but for the sake of the prompt, I'll make an exception. 
> 
> Blue


End file.
